flashback

this is an excerpt from the 2005 red-neck newsletter xmas edition:

Things I see at my father's house that I've never seen anywhere else:
1. Every single spoon has gone through the disposal. Every single one.
2. Most of a 1949 Ford truck engine is in the sun room being stripped & cleaned on the carpet with chemicals so toxic I will probably be glowing upon my return to CA.
3. Things so far past their expiration date they could practically buy their own beer. I saw Ex-Lax in the bathroom that expired in 1991. My dad moved
in 2001 which means he actually brought it with him. Anyone remember from last year when I ate the feta cheese that was expired by about a year? I do attribute these things to why I have a gastrointestinal system stronger than cast iron. 
4. Dentures laying on the living room floor.
5. Car parts in the dishwasher.
6. Not a single piece of Tupperware-type storage stuff, when Cool-Whip & Philladelphia cream cheese containers from 1976 are still getting the job done.
7. Purple Power. This is an all-puprose cleaner, but my dad takes the term "all-purpose" to a new level. According to him it does a great job from stripping engine parts to removing ring-around-the-collar to cleaning the windows. Just be careful, it'll really burn your hands.