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you can take the girl out of west virginia, but you can't take the west virginia out of the girl

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

redneck xmas begins 2010

 we went to the bar, that had a stripper pole (tho not a strip club) & a neon sign on the ceiling that said "the pole is your friend" & a bell you ring if you make it to the top of the pole. i only saw 1 person take advantage of the  pole. she was easily 240 lbs (110 kgs), and as my brother put it "that's a west virginia 240, not a miami 240 with tan lines".

we then went to another bar. it's called the purple cow. it was their xmas party. the band was awesome & i got to ride around the dance floor in a shopping cart, wearing a construction helmet with deer antlers (reals ones). 

why my brother & his friends still have all of their fingers & toes is beyond me, because the number of stories i've heard that start with statements like "when i was standing there with a bottle of yukon jack in one hand & a running chainsaw in the other..." is astounding. there are also stories that come from the bio-diesel shed... most of them involve near death experiences, like methanol raining (literally raining) down on you with copious amounts of lye laying around. my brother says it is an OSHA video.

how many people do you know that have taken at least 4 cows to the dump? i know one.

i've seen homeless people dressed better than my brother. he swears he threw away all of his really bad shirts. and this is his uniform. he only wears white hanes T-shirts & jeans. every day.

how many people do you know that put a baby seat in their back hoe? i know one. this is what being a stay-at-home-dad looks like in WV.
 

this is my bedroom at my brother's house. chance of him changing it? slim to none. he calls it the winnie the pooh suite.